Here is something that most people will be too frightened to say to you:
A man who is in love is going to commit right away and without hesitation. The only way to know if you're “supposed to be” with somebody is whether you're with them or not.
The person you're supposed to be with is not going to keep you waiting. That is a difficult thing to accept. because a man who doesn't love you completely will do that dance where they bait you into it. weave you through a forest of excuses, and leave you lost, unable to decipher if you're supposed to hang on a little longer, or eventually let go.
Some dating experts will tell you whether your goal is getting married and you are in a relationship with someone who does not know with certainty that they want to marry you within 90 days of meeting you, you’re with the wrong person.
It's not like they're walking along the driveway on day 89. they know that you are the person with whom they could spend their lives. they feel comfortable enough to continue their relationship with you.
Everything else is a waste of time.
The problem is not that people cannot acknowledge a bad relationship when they are there. The problem is that "evil" is always mixed up with a good. all the ‘signs' that you are supposed to be together, that thrilling ecstasy that you swear you never felt with another living soul. the connection you are convinced is once in a lifetime, never-go-to-find-this-new kind of thing.
But people who know they're made to be with somebody don't have to justify it. They are not seeking “signs”. They are not giving reasons. They don't have to go on and on about their connection abroad.
They just are.
It's really brutal to just accept when you don't realize what's at stake, and this is your time.
Kyle Cease says that the only thing that scares you about change is that you can measure what you lose, but you can't yet see what you will gain.
It's not easy to bring faith together to believe that your new-off-back. “Maybe someday, when the time is right, the relationship will be replaced by your soulmate. So I'm not going to try to persuade you that this is the case.
But what you should know is that someone who is truly in love with you will be afraid of nothing but losing you.
Someone who really wants to be with you will do everything he can, as well as he can, for your relationship to come true. They will challenge any weird, resist any temptation, and ignore bullshit like timing, age, and distance. That's what true love is all about. It rearranges reality around it.
And so if you waste your precious days and youth with someone who doesn't love you enough to commit yourself in a way that you know your soul mate would leave.
Leaving will open the door to anything.
Maybe that means you stay alone for a while.
That could mean you're going through a dozen more lukewarm partners.
You can't know what will follow. You can't look round the corner. You cannot be assured that the love of your life is in weeks, months, and even years.
All you know is that the person who does not want to be with you at once is not the one who wants to be with you. Leaving will do one of two things: it will awaken them or show you how willing they were to let you go. It will show you how alone you were in the relationship.
There is no promise to any of us in life. but we can know it with certainty: taking time and space with the wrong person is wasting your time and theirs. It keeps you from anything that might be.
Relationships are complicated, but it's simple: the person you should be with will be with you when they meet you. They will, and you will too.
People often think the opposite of being sure that you want to be with somebody is to be sure that you don't, but really, the opposite of that certainty is doubt.
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